Just got this in our email box:
NEW YORK – The New York Yankees announced today the firing of office manager John DiMaggio, citing a key logistical failure that resulted in their 3-0 loss to the Detroit Tigers on Sunday.
Team officials stated that Mr. DiMaggio had been tasked with distributing a key memorandum, titled, “Win One for the Captain!” to active members of the team’s roster.
Yankee General Manager Brian Cashman commented on the unfortunate situation, “Mr. DiMaggio sent the memo off to be translated into Japanese, but unfortunately forgot to distribute it to the rest of the team. As a result, only Hiroki Kuroda received the message.”
Hitting coach Kevin Long added, “We felt that a memorandum was the most effective way to address the lineup-wide slump of Yankee hitters. On our day off tomorrow, we may try some more traditional coaching methods, like practicing not swinging at off-speed pitches two feet off the plate.”
Mr. DiMaggio declined to comment when asked this night except to say that he was at home watching, “The Walking Dead.” At time of embargo, it is unclear whether he was watching the season premier of the hit AMC show or tape of the Yankee hitting lineup.
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