On the heels of the Frankie Rodriguez fiasco, I wanted to assemble a team of the biggest jerks in the history of the game. A collection of the cads, clowns and criminals that Baseball has known over the years. All together on one team, just imagine being a beat reporter in that clubhouse.
Ladies and Gentlemen, your All-SOB squad:
C-A.J. Pierzynski
1B-Cap Anson
2B-Jeff Kent
SS-Larry Bowa
3B-Ty Cobb
RF-Carl Everett
CF-Milton Bradley
LF-Barry Bonds
DH-Albert Belle
Bench-Elijah Dukes, Jose Offerman, Jim Rice
#1 Starter-Juan Marichal (Johnny Roseboro says hello)
#2 Starter-Roger Clemens
#3 Starter-Josh Beckett
#4 Starter-Randy Johnson
#5 Starter-Steve Carlton
Long man-Bill “Spaceman” Lee
Bullpen-Brett Myers, Jonathan Papelbon, John Rocker
Closer-Frankie Rodriguez
Manager-Ozzie Guillen
Bench Coach-Lou Pinella
Bullpen Coach-Billy Martin
Third Base Coach-Tommy Lasorda (just to see him fall over again)
Majority Owned by Charlie Comiskey with Marge Schott and Tom Yawkey as ‘minority’ owners
(Thanks to Eric (TSJC) and others @ RAB for help with this post)
If you enjoyed this article, please consider sharing it!
18 Responses to The All-SOB Team
Leave a Reply
TIQ IQ
Randy Johnson’s just a grouch who was teased as a kid because of his size.
I like Randy, he gave the Yanks everything he had and went beyond the call with injuries that would have sidelined most players. But I think he’d be the first to tell you he was a mean SOB in his prime.
“Spaceman” Lee is on here purely for being a Sux…doesn’t deserve it.
Where’s Bobby Bonilla, Vince Coleman, Kevin Mitchell?
His recent comments on Steinbrenner’s passing earned him a spot.
Duly noted.
Nolan Ryan?
Nah, in his case it was unintentional. He had no idea where the ball was going. All time leader in Walks by a mile.
http://www.baseball-reference.com/leaders/BB_p_career.shtml
I have to say, that looks like a pretty good roster. Looks like the SOBs will be winning a lot of games, adding to the adage “Nice guys finish last” ;-)
Oh yeah. Each of them in their primes, that team might beat anyone.
No Braden?
Too insignificant. He needs to add some more asshole-yness to his resume.
Carl Yaz. Even if he wasn’t a Red Sox he should start on this team. Bouton’s Ball Four detailed what a self-centered jerk he was.
Spaceman Lee was and is deserving of a spot on any all-MLB jerk list.
Marichal was, other than the Roseboro incident, supposedly one of baseball’s nicest persons. I don’t think one aberration should get you on the list. Otherwise, it should be a lot longer.
You left off commissioner: Landis in a landslide. Racism among a few other character flaws.
“Other than the Roseboro incident” reminds me of the old line “Other than that, Mrs Lincoln, how was the play?”. But duly noted.
If it makes you feel any better, Don Drysdale and Sal Maglie just missed the cut.
Why not Miguel Cabrera?
I’m sure his wife would agree, but I guess I just love him too much as a hitter.
I’d have to add Doc Ellis to the rotation – not a dick, but certainly a character
Gary Carter should be w/ this group…..