Disgraceful Yankees lose disgracefully

I didn’t see a minute of the third and final game between the Yankees and A’s this afternoon and I’m glad I didn’t have to waste my time, as the A’s snapped the Yankees’ six-game win streak with a 4-2 win. This game had foregone conclusion written all over it after the first inning, between the Yankees going down 1-2-3 in the span of what seemed like six seconds on Gameday and CC Sabathia getting tagged for a three-run bomb by Kurt “John Flaherty and Ken Singleton want to make babies with my defense” Suzuki.

I don’t know what it is about Oakland, but CC Sabathia just doesn’t seem comfortable pitching in the Bay Area. Sabath apparently settled down and gave the Yankees 8 innings of 4-run ball, but that wasn’t good enough as the offense’s wretchedness carried over into this afternoon’s affair, with the Yankees failing to plate three runs in a game for the first time all season. I admit I don’t know much about Dallas Braden, but he seems like a scrub the Yankees should eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner, which I suppose is why the team could only muster up two runs off the soft-tosser.

Big Tex finally apparently began to remove his head from his ass with a solo home run, Marcus Thames also had a bomb of his own and the Yankees turned a triple play for the first time since 1968, but who cares because they still got beat by a pitiful offensive team that they should have swept the crap out of and now they have to go face an actual good team in the most annoying ballpark in front of the most annoying fans in the world.

The Yankees also only worked one walk, and the game somehow ended in an incredibly un-Yankee-like two hours and seven minutes. I don’t know where the entire team is going to dinner tonight, but it better be freaking amazing.

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